This post is kind of like Oprah's "you get a car, you get a car, you get a car" episode and I’m going to dive right in. Are you ready for it?
Start cheering for your dang self. One more time for the people in the back...Cheer. For. Your. Dang. Self.
And for the love, be NICE to yourself.
This post is all about the words we speak to ourselves, because words matter my friend, they really do and we seem to be our toughest critic.
I've been observing this all week and it's fascinating.
Are the words you're telling yourself words of affirmation and love and encouragement and grace?
Do this with me, think about that big project or idea or change or dream that's been on your mind. Maybe it’s in your life or career or going back to school or joining a gym or trying something new. Maybe you’re thinking about starting it next week or in a month or it’s been on your mind for over a year.
What are you telling yourself about that thing? Is it something like soon.…maybe. Or I don’t have enough experience. Or that’s never going to work. Or ugh…there are already so many people out there doing that. Or I’m not good enough. Or that’s a nice dream but it’s not real life. Or meh, it's no big deal.
Ok, now pretend that you’re sitting with your friend and they just told you this exact same project/idea/change/dream. What words would you say to them?
I'm guessing it would be something like:
Oh wow, how fun!
You’re going to kill it!
Oh my goodness that is so exciting!
Good for you!
Woooowwwww…I am so darn proud of you!
I bet that’s going to be a lot of work but if there is anyone who can do it, it’s you!
Do you see it????
We would cheer our friends on, so why in the heck aren’t we cheering OURSELVES on??
(By the way I rarely use more than 1 question mark so you KNOW I'm passionate about this by using many many many.)
I have a story. I always seem to have a story.
My best friend Katie sent a photo of her Orange Theory results in a closed group on Instagram. It was the second time she had done it that week and it was only Wednesday.
If you don’t know what Orange Theory is, neither do I really, but basically it’s a really hard workout. Just typing Orange Theory makes me exhausted. Obviously, I need to start doing Orange Theory. But I digress so annnyyywaayyy…
I wrote her back “Wow, I don’t really know what that means but I’m impressed. Good for you!”
Because I WAS impressed. I WAS proud. I WAS thinking to myself “Dang, good for Kat Dog, she’s out there kicking butt and getting her second workout on and it's only Wednesday.” And so I told her that.
She wrote back “Thanks. It’s not that impressive but it makes me feel good.”
Errrrrrrcccchhhhhh. (That’s supposed to be a screeching halt sound.)
Not impressive?? Are ya kidding me??
And this is the best part.
Just 2 weeks prior I was texting Katie. Scott and I were home from a 2-week road trip and for some reason it came up that we had run around our little loop, which is like a mile, 2 days in a row and were feeling pretty good about it.
Do you know what she texted me back?
“Wow! That’s great! Good for you! That’s awesome that you were able to jump right back into it. Keep it up!”
Do you see it? Do you see the difference between the words she used for me and the words she used for herself?
She spoke words of affirmation and love and encouragement to me but for herself…nahhh, it was no big deal.
People, I’m not saying Katie solved world hunger or found a cure for cancer or did anything wild or crazy, but she did DO SOMETHING and that in itself deserves to be celebrated.
So, again, let me ask, are you cheering yourself on?
Are you speaking to yourself like you would to a friend?
Are you speaking words that lift up instead of tear down?
Are you excited about what you're doing and celebrate even the little things?
I can tell you this my friend. Every time I even write a draft for my next blog post I come home and tell Scott and we do a little happy dance together. To celebrate. In the grand scheme of the whole entire world and life, yes it's pretty insignificant. But in the grand scheme of the day and what I wanted to accomplish and moving the blog forward and continuing to build this little life we want, yeah it's a pretty big deal. So celebration commence!
Like I said, I've really started to pay attention to this and it's fascinating. Listening to the words I speak to myself. Noticing the words other people use when talking about themselves and the things they are doing. Too often dismissing things as "not that big of a deal." Or saying "oh it's nothing, really." or "it's okkkk."
Listen, what you're doing matters. And the words you are saying to yourself matter too and have a HUGE impact on your outlook of life.
Those cupcakes you made, excellent! Heck, if I were you I'd just celebrate the fact that they got made (or bought). That wood carving you did isn't just a thing you tried, wow, way to go! You haven't had dessert 4 days in a row. Boom, keep it up my friend! You grabbed a pamphlet for grad school? You go girl. Or boy. Whoever you are, that's the first step and I'm so proud of you but mostly I hope you're proud of yourself.
If you’re not, let’s start, together.
This is really easy and you'll start to notice it all the time now.
The next time you feel even the slightest bit overwhelmed, or like you can't do something, or like you're not good enough, or like it's too big for you, or like what you're doing doesn't matter, or what you did is not big deal, I want you to STOP. Now pretend like you're talking to a friend.
What would you tell a friend having those same thoughts? Seriously, pick a friend, pretend they just called you up and said this thing. What would you say to them?
Tell yourself those same words.
You are worth cheering on.
You are awesome.
You are doing big things, and small things, and all the things and as long as you're not hurting anyone, good. for. you.
Ok, I have another story.
This past weekend we were at a local music festival, Blissfest. Every year, 6 of us spend 3 nights in a camper hanging out, listening to music, and going off-grid in beautiful Northern Michigan.
This year looked a little different. Our good friends who usually go to the festival with us just had a baby....like 5 weeks ago brand new, precious baby. But, they were determined to still make it to Blissfest, and got their own campsite and alllllll the stuff that comes with that, and brought their 5-week-old to the festival. Sure, they spent a lot more time at camp than the years prior but that's ok, change is a good thing. They were doing the dang things and I just couldn't get over how great it was that they were there.
I stopped by their camp one morning and as I was looking around at them and their little camper and their precious baby and the tables and the food and all the work that went into making this happen with a 5-week-old, I told them just that. I said "I’m really proud of you guys. This is AWESOME that you’re here."
And you know what my friend said back? She smiled and said, "Thank you, I’m really proud of us too."
Boom baby….(no pun intended. Ok, maybe a little bit of pun was intended.)
Are you ready to cheer yourself on? To celebrate what you're doing? To admit that you're proud of yourself? To talk to yourself like a friend?
The kinder we are to ourselves, the kinder we can be to others. Really. I promise, if you start paying attention to it, you'll see it too. When we start celebrating the little things and the big things and all of the things we become more grateful. The more encouraging we become. The fuller life seems.
We start to give grace and judge less. We start to cheer others on instead of feeling the pangs of jealousy. We start to achieve little things and then start achieving bigger things.
Speak words that make life a little richer and start being a friend to YOURSELF.
You deserve it.
Massive love my friend,
I'd love to know what you think about this blog post below. Be sure to leave a comment!
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